Dearest Readers, Bridgerton is back with Season 3. This means the return of Lady Whistledown's ruthless wit, a budding romance for a Bridgeton family member (or two! or three!), and fresh cause for us to re-evaluate our crushes from least alluring to downright devastatingly swoon-worthy.
One of the best bits of Bridgerton is feeling a part of the hot-and-bothered drama and heady possibilities of the courtship season, where flirtations could lead to happily-ever-after but fumbles could lead to social alienation —?and a dressing-down in everyone's favorite gossip newsletter. This season sees Colin Bridgerton returning from abroad and catching the eye of every available lady in the Ton. But we're rooting for Penelope Featherington, who's been pining for him since their shared childhood. But Polin —?as their couple moniker goes — is far from the only romantic plotline thrown down this season; there's plenty of crushable characters from which to choose.
Before we plunge into the our fan-flapping fascinations, a note: Absent from this list are previously ranked crushes, like the dynamic dressmaker Madame Delacroix and the amusingly surly Mrs. Varley, as well as Season 1's glowing Duchess Daphne Basset (neé Bridgerton) and her dashing Duke, Season 2's adorable ingenue Edwina Sharma, and Queen Charlotte's young hotties. These characters — while worthy of your daydreaming —?either barely appear in Season 3: Part 1, or are absolutely absent. Maybe next season.
Now, here's our list of Bridgerton characters, worst to best, or least crush-worthy to most!
18. Francesca Bridgerton + Lord John Stirling
Pros: The newest Bridgerton on the marriage market and her favorite suitor seem nice, I guess.Cons: However, they're about as interesting as watching paint dry in total silence — which seems like their idea of a perfect date. — Belen Edwards, Entertainment Reporter
17. Benedict Bridgerton
Pros: The second eldest Bridgerton loves playing cards with his younger siblings.Cons: Is still kind of just there. — B.E.
16. Lord Samadani
Pros: Queen Charlotte's pick of a match for Francesca, Lord Samadani is rich, gentlemanly, and actually talks to the women he's courting. Props all around. Cons: Wants eight kids. That's a big ask. — B.E.
15. Queen Charlotte
Pros: Somehow never lets the outfit wear her. Even when it's a wig with motorised swans within it.Cons: Becoming less creative in her social dominance activities — a "sparkler" instead of a diamond, your Majesty? Really? — Shannon Connellan, UK Editor
14. Lady Agatha Danbury
Pros: Casually still the most politically influential person this side of Lady Whistledown and the Queen. Still throws one hell of a party. Looks fire in a top hat. Cons: Hates everyone who isn’t a Bridgerton — that includes you. — S.C.
13. Portia Featherington
Pros: Sex education icon!Cons: But maybe too invested in her daughters' sex lives? — B.E.
12. Philipa Featherington + Prudence Featherington
Pros: The Dumb & Dumber of Regency-era England, this double act is dopey fun, especially when it comes to bumbling into a sex talk with their mother. Cons: Recently married but still utterly attached at the hip, it can be hard to discern where one sister ends and the other begins. — Kristy Puchko, Entertainment Editor
11. Lord Remington
Pros: This potential suitor lives for gossip and Lady Whistledown, and truly seems to hit it off with Penelope.Cons: Disappears from the show as quickly as he arrives.?— B.E.
10. Cressida Cowper
Pros: High fashion queen with shoulder puffs for days.Cons: Regency Mean Girl. — S.C.
9. Will Mondrich + Alice Mondrich
Pros: Small business owners who genuinely love each other? Legends.Cons: "Great gowns, beautiful gowns" is not as interesting a storyline as Bridgerton thinks it is! Give these two beautiful people something to do! — B.E.
8. Lady Tilley Arnold
Pros: Forget your shy and virginal debutantes. Lady Tilley is a widow looking for stimulation, intellectual and sexual. Benedict is lucky to have caught her attention. Cons: Her interest in Benedict —?the fuckboy of the Bridgerton household —?has us doubting her taste. — K.P.
7. Lord Marcus Anderson
Pros: Walks with a swagger while oozing powerful quantities of charisma.Cons: His sister doesn't seem like his biggest fan. What's going on there, exactly? — Sam Haysom, Deputy UK Editor
6. Lady Violet Bridgerton
Pros: Where many of the mums of the Ton scramble to get their kids wed to the wealthiest could-be match around, Violet dedicatedly urges her children to a "love match" —?like she herself had with their dad! Though a mother of eight, Violet manages to always look fabulously put-together, and this season we see her cheeks blush like a school girl when a new romance begins to bloom for her! Cons: Did we mention she has eight kids? And they include Benedict and Francesca? — K.P.
5. Eloise Bridgerton
Pros: In Season 1 and 2, Eloise was giving Elizabeth Bennet, being more keen to enjoy her own interests than get caught up in the marriage game. As such, Eloise is spirited and winningly irreverent — most of the time. Cons: Scorched by the revelation that her best friend was keeping a major Whilstledown secret from her, Eloise has soured this season. When she's not sulking or buddying up to Bridgerton's answer to Regina George, Eloise is pulling the tedious "I'm not like the other girls" schtick by insulting the interests of her peers. Hobby-shaming is not cool. Justice for embroidery! — K.P.
4. Anthony Bridgerton + Kate Bridgerton (née Sharma)
Pros: The Viscount and the Viscountess are still the smokin' hot duo they were when we left them in Season 2. Constantly engaged in amorous congress instead of that stack of overdue paperwork (sometimes on said paperwork).Cons: Genuinely happy. Remember how hot it was when they hated each other? — S.C.
3. Colin Bridgerton
Pros: Bridgerton lead glow-up aside, Colin knows that the sluttiest thing a man can do is keep his mouth open just a little bit. He also shows promise as an erotic travel writer — with some tips from Penelope, I bet the two could kick start a literary dynasty.Cons: Should probably save his erotic travel stories for his journal. Should also stop getting Penelope into compromising situations in his attempts to help her. You know being alone in a room with her looks bad, Colin! — B.E.
2. Lord Alfred Debling
Pros: Goes against the grain and embraces difference. Is capable of naming all 620+ species of bird on the British Isles (probably).Cons: Terrible at bringing back promised glasses of lemonade. — S.H.
1. Penelope Featherington, Our Diamond of the Season
Pros: A deeply observant literary mastermind whose secret identity is driving the Queen to distraction. Ditches her acidic family colour palette for ball-stopping Parisian Pen aesthetic. Prefers books and writing truths about the Ton to gallivanting around the wilderness. An absolute babe and the Ton's beating heart, despite their ignorance. Cons: Born in the wrong century. Other than that, none at all. Quiet, Eloise.— S.C.
Bridgerton Seasons 1 and 2 are now streaming on Netflix. Season 3 will drop in two halves, with Part 1 streaming on May 16 and Part 2 on June 13.